Lilly Dee: 11/14/2004

Lilly Dee Reporting Live From...

MoMa Grand Opening....

This is Lilly Dee reporting live on a saturday rainy afternoon standing outside the MoMa observing the Grand opening of the newly built museum...onlooker, Jimmy Lee, witnessed lines of people stretching a few blocks long, just to get admission into the much talked about museum...blah blah blah...

Haha I guess I can never be a good reporter..but thank heavens I didn't go to the MoMa opening today, because I heard the line was really long, but my friend managed to get some picture from the outside...depicting the grand opening day with his digital SLR...
hmm..James has a blind date at the MoMa tomorrow, maybe I should go sneak around...
images, courtesy of Jimmy Lee

Contemplations on the Subways of NY...

looking out the subway...only to see one's own reflection...

blurring the boundaries...

Sleeping the time Away

one odd ball taking a snapshot of the other odd ball sleeping...

Different Sameness: Two Odd-balls from the same source

I always think sometimes how it's strange, in this day and age of disfunctional families, that often makes one feel so close and yet so distant from one's own family. Our family is disfunctional in the sense that we haven't truely lived as a family together ever since I was five, and even then I rarely saw my father, because he was a workhaholic who didn't come home till midnight...and when my mom, my brother and I emigrated to Montreal, it solidified the fate, that we would never be able to live together again...and we never did...our family just became more and more dispersed...and it would be such rare oppurnity for the entire family to be in one place at the same time...it will always be a combination, where one person or two is missing...
So this time around everyone will be in Vancouver and I will be the missing one...
So for those who do not know me well, will think that I am an only child if you have never heard my mention of a brother who is seven years older...and I don't mention him that much because we don't really talk...not in the sense that we hate each other...its just that we just don't have much to say. He is quiet and well I am quiet...and that doesn't add up to much of a conversation...but one thing for sure we are very similar and yet opposites of one another too...I guess that's what makes us siblings...people say that when they see us together they can see some hints of likeness in our facial features...although I don't think we look alike at all...except that we both look like dad...
So out of nowhere in the last few days I received news that my bro will be visiting me in NY from Tokyo, before he heads on to Vancouver...
He arrived in NY yesterday morning, and by the time he got to Trump Place, I was still asleep...and my apartment was in semi-mess. When it came time to eat, he specified for Ollies on 116th across columbia university, because he was nostalgic for that particular Ollies and not the one on 66th st. Did I mention that he also went to Columbia for his MsAAD and also went to USC for his B.Arch, with the exception that he moved on to Harvard GSD after Columbia...dad offered me the same option...but I won't opt for it...So I guess we both like Ollies, but he prefers the one on 116th and I, the one on 66th...then that same day for dinner, we ordered delivery from Ollies on 66th...In between Ollies and Ollies, I took him to studio after lucnch, I could see his nostalgia for Columbia, so eager to see what has changed and what has not...then we headed on to columbus circle because he wanted to see the newly built Time Warner center...he took pictures of the architecture and I took pictures of the city looking out of the glass windows from Time Warner center...while he was shopping at A|X, I was busy taking pictures of the city through A|X...my brother claims that Japan has GA, EA but no AX...
Generally we both like to shop, he likes to shop the sale sections or go to factory outlets, and I like shopping at department stores and flagship stores, and never really care about sales...so I guess he is much more careful with money than me...he buys expensive brands but manage to get it at discount prices while I just end up spending a great deal...but you never know, because once in a while he will splurge too...
In terms of his style...I must say he is a pretty good dresser...clean and sleek...with black as the main palette...the day he arrived he was wearing a burberry black and grey novacheck print shirt, with black trousers, and a black belted coat...with a dark chocolate brown textured leather Louis Vuitton messenger bag containing his mini sony VAIO laptop and sony MD players with two mini speakers...as for my style...it's just harder to appreciate...because it's just plain weird...
We both have an affinity for intricate mechanical timepieces...he has a cartier roadster that he bought for himself(poor daniel)and I have a catier pasha "C" which dad bought me (haha)...he has a fake Luminor Panerai from china, and I have a real Panerai, which I bought myself after graduation...when I casually asked him what happened to his beautiful titanium IWC, he said he had to sell it because he got annoyed at someone at his office wearing the exact same watch...I guess I am like that too...that's why when it comes to watches I prefer lesser known brands...and I don't really wear my cartier anymore, but I keep it for its sentimental value...
We both have an affinity fo electronics...he is obsessed with japanese brands and I am obsessed with european electronics...but we both have a leica...he has the point and shoot automatic Leica and I have a traditional manual Leica...
After I started collecting Swarovski limited edition pieces, he started too...but I stopped...and I think he still collects...so we have two of the same piece if we brought the collection together...
We both like fine writing tools,namely roatring and Mont Blanc...but now I just use Bic Pens and he uses a Mont Blanc SkyWalker...that pen was on my list of must-haves too...but then I thought I am no longer at USC...so a Bic pen will do...
He is very "put-together" and I am, well, just all-over the place...
He calls my dog loren-jo, which annoys me...I still prefer rolling-jo...
Afer I got my corbusier chaise-lounge for my LA apartment he got one too for his Tokyo apartment...
He prefers the prestigious look of an old mercedes and I prefer the sporty headlights design of the porsche...
He makes his airplane ticket reservations and conducts his daily "business" on his persoanlized note pad with his initials printed at the top right hand corner and an image of his hand sketch at the bottom...he even had these note pads printed in different sizes, whereas I just scribble my confirmation infos on any piece of paper I can find..like an old receipt from Starbucks or something...
He has accumulated a lot of air miles over the years and even managed to exchange it for a concord ticket from NY to Paris for dad, when the concord was still in operation...and I am shocked that he still has enough air miles to spare when he travels, which always gets him a free upgrade to business class and access to the VIP lounge...meanwhile I travel extensively too...but just no air-miles at my disposal...sigh...well I am gonna start, from now on...

So pardon me, dear readers if my analysis of my brother and I was very surface-like or superficial...it is just that I live in a world of visual observations...but its mostly because we rarely see each other...even when we were both living in LA at the same time...we were living seperately...he had his house and I had my apt...I would drive to his place occasionally for dinner...but then that was that...so I guess our relationship is neither here nor there, but just "is", as in he "is" my brother and I am happy to see him in NY...I mean after all we are siblings...only problem is he sleeps a lot...well me too...so I guess were the same in different ways... I mean duh!...we come from the same parents!...geez...

The A|X Files

caught "in" between...

strangers in the city...

the end of the beginning...

the beginning of the end...

city in layers...

what is the virtual...and what is the real...

reflections of the day...

Ode to Monsieur Henri Cartier-Bresson

me, capturing the "decisive moment"...

So I guess this is my second all-nighter, when I thought my insomnia problem had been fixed...but I guess not, but all the better, because I needed the time to think about my dystopia project, the night has not been as productive as I expected, but nevertheless I found some direction amidst all the brain-storming.
So I decided to take a coffee break, and came across an article in Wallpaper magazine recommending its readers to check out famous french photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson's photobook. This article reminded me that I have two of his books sitting on my bookshelf in LA, gathering dust...and also reminded me why I got my Leica M6 after high-school.
This article made me nostalgic of my high school days when I discovered my passion for photography, and eventually started the photography club at Sacred Heart. I took pictures of everything...then I discovered the works of Monsieur Henri Cartier Bresson, and of course was inspired by his beautiful photography, but could never grasp his concept about capturing "the Decisive Moment", "the moment" when everything comes together to form the perfect composition. I understood the part about things coming together to form the "perfect compostion" but I never quite knew what he meant by "the moment...." Despite all this I was very much inspired by his work, and started doing black and white photography, and obsessively worked on my composition and framing skills...I remember how I would get excited when I capture something really beautifully composed...But it is not till this morning as I was reading about his work that I came to understand what is meant by "the decisive moment", through Wallpaper. Looking at one of his famous photo of a man leaping over a puddle behind the Gare st. Lazare. This moment of the puddle leap was the perfect example because that instance that everything came together was not the "peak of action necessarily, but the formal peak" as described in the article. I think that that Monsiuer Cartier Bresson's work was relevant to his time, but his "decisive moment" certainly trascends time...
I think this "decisive moment" is relevant to life...however, I think each one of us only gets that one moment, unlike photography, where we are able to find our true place in our existence...and at that moment everything fits together...

my rothko-like photography

Update on "The E-Mail From the Mad Old Woman"

So I guess after I blogged, both my parents called me individually, and we communicated and turns out that it was all a big misunderstanding...apparently they were wondering how come I have been paying my bills late, and letting the credit card company charge interest or delay fee, and it turns out that my mail always get transfered from LA to NY really late...so I figured I'll have to keep track of the bills without the statements, but to make an early payment instead...I guess they were more upset about the interest that the credit card company charges...but it's all cleared up...and everybody is ok!...
Later mom went online and checked my blog and e-mailed me with this reply:

damned dee(chinese piggy):

what is ur sense of a screaming mom, for me it sound like uncommunicable being. please correct the description about me on ur blog which is viewed by so many. u must respect me a bit for how these viewers would look at me, don't put too much black color on me OK!

a never screaming lady

So yes, just to clarify, that I have always been joking when I said "screaming" which to me means scolding...but I like to use the word screaming just for dramatic effect and not out of disrespect for mom. For those who know, mom and I are actually very close and I always tell her everything on my mind, sometimes when she visits me in NY, we can spend the entire night talking and not sleeping...and she understands me best as to why I am the way I am...and why it's hard for me to change...and she knows that I understand her best as well, sometimes we both feel like misunderstood souls in this world...nevertheless I still have to watch my expenses...afterall, NY cost of living is definitely higher! and I always forget that I am also simultaneouly paying for my bills in LA, like condo fee and car insurance...it's good to clear things up!...and mom is not upset anymore addressing herself as "a never screaming lady"...haha

The E-Mail From "Mad Old Woman"

that's suppose to be me, holding my Y-3 football, after reading mom's e-mail.

Today was a rather strange day, I woke up really depressed after an all-nighter of thinking about design and not going anywhere with my design work. But surprisingly, the rest of the day went pretty well, I had a reassuring crit from my professor, attended the Archigram lecture, had dinner with Just James and Sandy and the evening ended with a cup of grande mocha...I can just imagine mom sreaming at me for buying a 4 dollar mocha!...And I was right!
When I got home I proceeded to call mom, who is now in LA, to tell her that I got home safely from school and didn't get run over by some random car on the streets of NY. But much to my surprise, mom didn't want to talk to me today, all she said was "I am so mad, go read your mail", then she hung up before I could say anything.
This was how mom's e-mail went:

Damned LillyDee

lalala, blah,blah,blah, damned you, ^%$@@#*&%^$#:"::()&%#$^***(@#%&****)((?>:<))***&^^^****##@!)******^$$%^&*()%&&$$$$$$$$$$**())P)$$#@#**())_++))$$#@@!&**())(*&^%$$######$%^***(()))__^^%$$##**())___++&%$ like old cow, &^^%$$%^&**(()))^%##%%^%&&^^^%%$$%^^^^&&*(($$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&&^^**()___#@@**)____+&^^%$$#&*(( I'LL KILL YOU!

MAD OLD WOMAN

I guess being a parent is rather difficult sometimes, espescially a parent who has a predisposed tendency to panic a great deal. And by that I mean mom. I do feel sorry for her sometimes, when she just doesn't know how to deal with me and what to do with my extravagant spending habits. She is always in conflict with herself when it comes to my upbringing...part of her just want to spoil me rotten, when she would spend less so I could spend a little more...and part of her just goes crazy and wants to kill me when she "accidentally" opens my credit card statements. Deep down I understand perfectly why mom would feel like she wants to kill me sometimes...it's not because of the money, but because she worries that I will not be able handle myself in the "real world" when I start a working life and that I will likely go bankrupt not being able to pay for my bills. Yes, that's mom, always thinking about the worst case scenario, I could just imagine mom jumping through the ceiling as she browsed through my credit card statement, this morning. That's why I say being a parent is difficult and when you are the parent of LillyDee it's even worse. She wants to indulge me and yet she worries that I won't be able to survive on my own...Well I have my own worst case scenario too, which is ending up a homless on the streets of LA near Little Tokyo...this is a recurring nightmare for me...I guess what annoys mom, is that even though I know it's wrong, I still make the same mistakes over and over again...and I don't know why I do that either, although I have grown a conscience over the years...well I am well aware that each person has to pay for the consequences of one's own decisions, it is just a matter of being brave enough to face up to it, I guess.
Anyways, most of the time when these kinds of things happen, mom doesn't even bother writing an e-mail to scold me, she just picks up the phone and starts screaming at me. Yes, my upbringing was also filled with memories of mom screaming at me, and grabbing a hanger to hit me, but she doesn't really hit me, instead she hits the door to my bedroom. I would say that it was pretty effective, afterall I didn't turn out so bad, now being a grad student at Columbia University. I don't think I would be where I am today, without the screaming. I mean YoYo wouldn't be so well trained in taking his poop, if it weren't for mom screaming at him everytime he pooped in the wrong place, when he was still a little puppy.
This time around, she actually took the time to write me a long e-mail to scold me with her unique "style of english writing". I remembered when she e-mailed to scold me out my choice of expensive cell phones, I didn't know how to reply, so I just wrote that her english is getiing worse and worse...and she replies with an e-mail saying the chinese word "fan-piiiiiiii!".
So it was the same feeling today as I was reading her mail, I didn't know whether I should cry or laugh...addressing me as "damned LillyDee" my blog name, and addressing herself as "mad old woman", I guess she must be upset if she is not addressing herself in her usual name "Rolling-Mom". From the bits an pieces of her letter, I could tell that she not only reads my blog, but also remember many detailed things from my articles, because her letter is filled with references from my blog, like stop buying "unwearable fashion"...hintting at my obssesion with Comme Des Garcon...I guess it must really trouble her, that not only do I spend, but I spend it on unwearable fashions, that borders between beautiful and ugliness, and that most non-fashion insiders would consider plain "ugly". Nevertheless I am really touched that mom remembers the details of my blog entries even though she is forgetfull. So this e-mail from the "old mad woman" has proved that she is finally treating me like an adult.
By the Way if I don't sound guilty as I am writing this blog it's because I have an important midterm presentation coming up with some of the most influential people in architecture as guest critiques, including our dean, so I cannot afford to be distracted by guilt and self-hatred from my design work!

Moi...Muse to Mr. Fry

YoYo and I are so glad to have become Mr. Fry's Muse, after I checked out his website with the following artworks he made inspired by moi! Mr. Fry is definitely the next Picasso in town! the toast of LA art scene!...check out http://www.xanga.com/philicusfry for his complete collection of artworks...

Mr. Fry's Commentary: Lilly Dee actually sleeping at 3:30 am.

Mr. Fry's Commentary: Yoyo, the Maltese, has been Fry-ed. I always remember him barking at me so that's what I try and show here.

Mr. Fry's Commentary:This piece was inspired by Lilly Dee's fervent desire for a birkin bag. Note the presence of the Comme des Garçon skirt juxtaposed with the birkin bag. The artist has captured part of the essence that makes up Lilly Dee. Picasso's Joie de Vivre piece had a slight influence on this piece, with the simple yet playful lines.